The Beginning of The New

Athena, My Darling

Last week I needed a male talk. One of those just a man that seems to know you, can give. So I reached for a dearest friend. He told me things I knew about myself but seemed to have left hidden somewhere in my soul, my personality, that I wasn’t being able to find it. He told me that, took me years to build who I am. My own way.
And my friend, I tell you. Most of the time is not easy to be me. I have to deal with so many different people and opinions - most about myself - that I don't know how it got me barely intact so far. I've been called names (quite heavy), worship, hated and adored. Sometimes, all at once. Acted cold, gave my heart, been all that you can imagine. Till I achieved, I found myself. So why did I, for a moment, doubted about myself?
Recently I had an inapropired reaction from an unknown. That was what scared me the most. He said something that touched an opened wound. Funny was that, that dearest friend said almost same thing, and it didn’t hurt. Why, just someone touched me? Why was I doubting?
I was remembering the first time I had sex with an ex boyfriend. He was a virgin and I already had a little experience at the time. We were both really young. At the time I simply had no strings attached with my body, my looks. I just didn’t care. Strange is that now, much older and more experienced, I started to care. Or even worse, letting someone make me feel that way.
But don’t worry, I feel much better now and won’t let anyone make me feel that way again. Cause I know I accept myself. I don’t doubt myself and wont let anyone doubt about me too. People can think whatever they want, so can I.
Nobody’s perfect, neither am I. But, who cares???