My Dear Athenas,
I don't have an answer for you. All I can say is that yes, we are just humans. To feel bad or to be a bad person does not - necessarily - come toghether. So I think is ok to feel both, and, at the same time, feel good about it.
I have a confession. I use to keep my feelings to myself. I thought that, that way I would be a better person, more mature and responsable. I was superior. Well, it came out that all I kept for myself turned into something bad for me - most of the time demostrate in a huge stomach ache. Now, I say whatever I want, whenever I want... and being Good About It.
Goethe said: "Life teach us to be less harsh with ourselves and with others". And that's why, sometimes we feel so guilty about feeling good with ourselves cause someone else is bad.
My dearest friend, I tell you, we are women too. And all that we need to know is that we can be anything that we want to. Allow yourself to feel anything. You feel, isn't is just amazing? You're allowed to. So just do it.
As for me, all I can feel is a mix of weird feelings. I miss the one I thought would be the one. He's leaving his safety to fight for a bigger cause. And I, just another woman, am totally concerned with this. Well, at least I'm allowing myself to feel sad.
Funny... the other day a guy - someone I was seeing - told me I can't like somethings, just because I'm a woman... but he could, cause he was a man. I couldn't help but wonder... when did I stopped being a human and became a woman?
Aphrodite
Revenge is a plate best served cold.
Dear Aphrodite:
Well, I have written you this wonderful letter. Actually, I did write the letter, but maybe in another moment I will send it to you. While I was writing you this letter, I mean the one that I did not send you (confusing right?!), I received some news that, how do I put it… made me happy (although I should not feel this way). Ok, I will tell you the news in the end, but let me first formulate some “justifications” to why I felt this way.
This is what I think it happens to us human beings (remember, I will use a general connotation. I guess to excuse myself I need to make sure that this is a generalizable kind of justification). We are in a relationship. It does not work for one of them. One decides to leave. The rejected person always feels devastated. She or he (I have to say that I think the rejected man also feels that way, although his way of demonstrating it does not always reflect that) keeps trying to find some excuse to recover. Some ways to go through this tough moment is to tell yourself that the other person is as miserable as you are. You want to feel, to know, and to make sure that you are not the only one going through all those horrible thoughts that wonder in your head when you are dealing with loss. It just sucks to be by yourself in this mess. I guess that is why group therapy works so well. You know you are not the only miserable person in the room. Everybody there is either just like you or worse. And then, you are contemplated by some news that makes you feel happy. That you were and are much better off without him or her. That you were able to process through the things that happened to you and you are stronger, healthier, and more confident. You’ve overcome. But the question is: is this a bad thing? Are human beings so sad (me included) to the point that they have to know that they are much better off than the other? What is it about this feeling that comes to your head and makes you feel good? It happened to me Aphrodite. And to be honest, I do not regret the feeling. Or maybe I would say I do not feel ashamed to feel the way I felt. It is almost like the confirmation that I am better off. And although I knew that and everybody kept saying that, I was only able to tell myself when things were confirmed.
Well, I guess I do not really need to tell you what the news is. Just remember that if you learn how to lose, you can emerge stronger. I have learned that, and I have prioritized myself in this process.
Do you think I am a bad person to think this way? Is this natural or it is actually me? Did I make any sense though?
With love and happier,
Athenas
Well, I have written you this wonderful letter. Actually, I did write the letter, but maybe in another moment I will send it to you. While I was writing you this letter, I mean the one that I did not send you (confusing right?!), I received some news that, how do I put it… made me happy (although I should not feel this way). Ok, I will tell you the news in the end, but let me first formulate some “justifications” to why I felt this way.
This is what I think it happens to us human beings (remember, I will use a general connotation. I guess to excuse myself I need to make sure that this is a generalizable kind of justification). We are in a relationship. It does not work for one of them. One decides to leave. The rejected person always feels devastated. She or he (I have to say that I think the rejected man also feels that way, although his way of demonstrating it does not always reflect that) keeps trying to find some excuse to recover. Some ways to go through this tough moment is to tell yourself that the other person is as miserable as you are. You want to feel, to know, and to make sure that you are not the only one going through all those horrible thoughts that wonder in your head when you are dealing with loss. It just sucks to be by yourself in this mess. I guess that is why group therapy works so well. You know you are not the only miserable person in the room. Everybody there is either just like you or worse. And then, you are contemplated by some news that makes you feel happy. That you were and are much better off without him or her. That you were able to process through the things that happened to you and you are stronger, healthier, and more confident. You’ve overcome. But the question is: is this a bad thing? Are human beings so sad (me included) to the point that they have to know that they are much better off than the other? What is it about this feeling that comes to your head and makes you feel good? It happened to me Aphrodite. And to be honest, I do not regret the feeling. Or maybe I would say I do not feel ashamed to feel the way I felt. It is almost like the confirmation that I am better off. And although I knew that and everybody kept saying that, I was only able to tell myself when things were confirmed.
Well, I guess I do not really need to tell you what the news is. Just remember that if you learn how to lose, you can emerge stronger. I have learned that, and I have prioritized myself in this process.
Do you think I am a bad person to think this way? Is this natural or it is actually me? Did I make any sense though?
With love and happier,
Athenas
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