Hearts Under Maintance

Athenas, My Dear,


I understand your fear. I have it too. It’s hard for everyone to live with the fear of loosing a loved one. We all want a relationship that lasts forever without problems. Well, I hate to tell you that there is absolutely no rule for this. My best advice would be to try relax and let things go with the flow. I’m sure that worrying won’t help. And, what about when things are not under your control? Like, a father letting his only child going out at night on her own? Or when the so-called love of your life goes to one of the dangerous place on earth? How to handle this fear? We live with it, is one great answer. Just learn to live with it, and it no longer will be a big deal. I live day-by-day doing this. Went from struggling to surviving to living. And I’m sure I’ll miss those days. Probably years from now, when I’m old and relaxed.
“Those days” will always exist, too. We will always look back and think how wonderful it was when we were younger. How everything was always feeling so fresh and new. How tender people were. We always had a better life in the past cause we tend to forget bad things. At least most of us. In your case, you cannot just let the past go. Don’t be too attached sweetie… I’ve been hurt and almost sure I will again someday. Doesn’t matter who, but somebody will hurt me again. Will I ever stop believing in Love? No. Will I ever stop dreaming and fantasizing? No way. I’ve learned my lesson. I have been deceived, I have been tricked. But no one seems to hold me now.
I’m sure I will be devastated if - after all - this waiting were in vain. Of course my darling, only natural. For a while I decided that I would break up, leave everything behind and move on. “I didn’t try enough”, I thought. The worst feeling, regretted for so long, you wouldn’t believe. But I couldn’t do anything anymore. I “deleted” him, literately. Untill he came and open one last door. This one I’ll leave opened until closure.
For now, I can only quote William Wordsworth: “What though the radiance which was once so bright; Be now for ever taken from my sight, Though nothing can bring back the hour; Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower; We will grieve not, rather find, Strength in what remains behind;“